Planning a funeral is never easy, but it's much more difficult when you lose a close loved one and are in the midst of painful grief. You may wish you could simply curl up under the covers and hide from the world, but instead you need to make important decisions regarding the finances and logistics of the funeral. Here are five tips for making this task as easy on yourself as possible:
Choose the Right Funeral Home
A funeral home will be invaluable during this difficult time. The funeral director and assistants will handle many of the logistical aspects of the funeral arrangements so that you don't have to. They should also provide specific templates and guidelines for the obituary, the funeral ceremony order, and any prayers or readings.
Being given clear, simple, organized options to choose from will help prevent the funeral planning from becoming overwhelming. In addition, the staff of a qualified and experienced funeral home will be empathetic and experienced at helping those who are grieving.
Honor Your Loved One's Wishes
If your loved one had specific wishes regarding their funeral, be sure to honor them. Not only will this most likely feel like the best option for the entire family, but it can also help simplify your decisions and free you from the burden of difficult choices. If your loved one suffered from a long terminal illness, they most likely discussed their wishes with you or other family members, or left a will with specific instructions for their funeral.
If your loved one died unexpectedly, they may not have anything specific in place, but perhaps mentioned in conversation that they would prefer to be cremated when they died or be buried at a particular cemetery.
Appoint a Go-to Person
It's a great idea to appoint a go-to person or coordinator to take over many of the practical details of planning the funeral. This should be someone who is highly organized and has a bit more emotional distance from the deceased. You can find funeral preparation checklists online to help your chosen go-to person stay on track and ensure no details are overlooked. Ideally, you will still be as involved in the funeral planning as you wish to be while having someone else take on logistical tasks, communication with guests, and overall organization.
Take Space for Yourself
It's very important at this time that you take space for yourself in order to protect yourself emotionally and practice good self care. How this looks for you will depend on your temperament and preferences, but it may mean asking for a break from visitors and phone calls, going on a long walk to get fresh air, setting aside time to see a grief counselor, spending time in comfy clothes watching comedy movies with a good friend, or taking a hot bath and doing gentle stretches to relieve muscle tension brought on by crying.
Do not feel guilty for taking time away from funeral planning, and instead be gentle with yourself.
Delegate Tasks
After a death, friends and family often ask to let them know if you need something. Most of them truly mean this, and would love to help but don't know how until you ask for something specific. Delegating funeral-related tasks to friends and family members will spread out the burden, let people show they care, and keep both you and your assigned go-to person from getting burnt out.
Tasks to delegate may include arranging childcare during the funeral, coordinating meal delivery for you and the other family members, or calling and emailing funeral guests to let them know the details.
By following these tips, you will be able to plan a funeral that truly honors your loved one while also taking good care of yourself.
Share29 November 2016
My beloved paternal grandmother passed away almost 4 years ago. Before her death, this special woman suffered many months due to a fatal lung disease. After her passing, her large extended family wanted to celebrate her unique life with an elaborate funeral service. They chose to work with the funeral home staff to decorate the funeral venue with things she loved. Because she enjoyed fishing, a large floral arrangement in the shape of a fish was purchased. Also, the family bought a floral cross to illustrate her devotion to her faith. On this blog, you will discover how to work with a funeral home staff on decorations at the funeral service venue.
